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Written by Hannah Downing (MSc, MBACP), Psychodynamic Psychotherapist,  hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk   When I think of what brings up feelings of fear, I think of risks or dangers on either a physical or emotional level. I was browsing through a children’s book on emotions recently and in the section on fear, there was a point about how fear can be useful. There were a number of examples given and all of which were about how fear can protect us from physically injuring oneself (e.g. fear of burning yourself would prevent you from touching something hot or fear of tripping on something would motivate you to move the object out of the way).  I wonder at times if, due to what is perhaps a collective avoidance of our own fears, if very little is communicated or thought about in relation to the internal fears that we might have, i.e. our fears relating to certain emotions coming up. We might be fearful of events that could lead to particular emotions being triggered. This could be fear of anger, fear of sadness, fear of fear even and indeed, perhaps even fear of any of the uncomfortable emotions coming up.  Fear is uncomfortable and I don’t think there is any way around that. It perhaps all begins in early childhood and if you have ever seen a little frightened child, you can get a sense of where the avoidance of this might have begun, especially if preoccupied parents (or indeed, parents avoiding their own fear) could so easily and unknowingly encourage their children to do the same. Fear can make us feel weak and it can feel debilitating. Fear has the capacity to make us tremble and lose our ability to think or speak clearly. It can be felt in the stomach and can often lead to digestive problems. This goes against society’s unspoken expectations to appear as fine, strong and well.  If we consider fear of fear, we can begin to see how the very feeling of being frightened (which is natural), could lead to even more intense feelings of fear. The intensity could then begin spiralling out of control. This begins to show how we could so easily develop coping mechanisms in attempts to avoid feelings of fear altogether and indeed, to avoid any of the uncomfortable feelings associated with fear.  At the root of these coping mechanisms, was once a child at home. Where fears are natural, if the child had little or no healthy models available to them to cope with their fears, they may have quite literally felt “stuck” or “frozen” in fear. The child would then feel motivated to not only become unstuck but to avoid being stuck again. As adults, we can step out of the house. Just like the children’s book that points out the positive use of fears to prevent physical injuries, if we allow our fears to exist enough to be able to think about them and explore them, we can also use fear positively to prevent or heal from emotional injuries.  One example of how fear can be used positively is in relation to boundaries. If something someone has done has frightened me, if I feel my fear, I can then think about how this has happened. This might be down to something within myself from my past or something that the other person has done to me. If it is down to something the other has done to me, I might decide to put some boundaries in place in relation to that person. Through this process, I would remain connected to myself and learn more about myself.  Therapy aims to provide a safe setting in which to explore emotions which can exist safely, be acknowledged, permitted and be spoken about. If you would like to book an initial session with me to explore how we might be able to work together in this area, please feel welcome to contact me.

I'm Hannah Downing, a Psychodynamic Psychotherapist. My private practice is in Reigate and I also provide remote sessions by video. Psychodynamic therapy seeks to explore, together with the therapist, what might be driving the obstacles that you face today. This type of therapy has at its core an understanding that much of our behaviour is driven by what we are not presently aware of, namely, our unconscious. What is Psychodynamic Therapy? Exploring unconscious processes and past experiences is in the foreground in psychodynamic therapy. Our early lives were once all we ever knew and would have become our normality. We can't consciously recall our very early lives, much of which became internalised, functioning as the blueprints or foundations deeply nested within ourselves today. These internalised foundations are what drives much of our behaviour, and which is often behind the obstacles that we face. We can use our logic, mental strength, healthy coping mechanisms, exercise and even our jobs to distract ourselves, but if our issues are rooted in the unconscious, it is possible that the same issues repeatedly return, forming an uncomfortable pattern overtime. This can be a frustrating task because overcoming issues can begin to feel unsolvable and out of reach. In psychodynamic therapy, the therapist works together with the client, helping the client to gain more awareness of what was previously out of reach in the unconscious mind. Psychodynamic therapy is rooted in psychoanalysis. Where clients would be required to attend psychoanalytic therapy 3-5 times per week, psychodynamic therapy usually requires regular attendance once a week. In this respect, it can be seen as a more accessible form of psychoanalysis in terms of time and money. Although psychodynamic therapists can home-in on particular theories, many are more independent in their work, drawing upon theories relevant to each client. Those who have trained as psychodynamic therapists would usually have an in-depth understanding of both traditional and modern psychoanalytic theories, have engaged in both personal therapy for themselves and group work over a period of 3-5 years as part of their training and completed a clinical placement for several years prior to beginning to work as therapists in private practice. Psychodynamic therapists who are registered with membership bodies must be in regular supervision and commit to regular continued professional development. Key Principles of Psychodynamic Therapy Unconscious Mind:  Our unconscious thoughts and feelings influence our behaviour. It's less mysterious than many believe and can be understood perhaps more logically by considering that there are parts of ourselves and behaviours that we are not aware of (consider when we drive a car on auto-pilot!). Childhood Experiences:  Our early experiences were internalised, creating the foundations that shape our current emotional and relational patterns. Much of these early experiences is often in our unconscious mind. Defense Mechanisms:  We protect ourselves from what our unconscious minds perceive as a risk to ourselves. Anxiety acts as an indicator of this perceived danger, often triggering action within ourselves to avoid this perceived danger. Sometimes, this sense of danger is relating to an avoided emotion surfacing. Defence mechanisms act to protect us from perceived danger and defence mechanisms form part of our behaviour. Transference:  When we smile, the world smiles with us and indeed, when we are angry, we can often make those around us feel the same way. We project our feelings into others frequently. Transference is the feeling that one gets from another. Counter-transference is how one person encourages or pulls another to act/behave in a certain way. Psychodynamic therapy makes use of transference and counter-transference in the work. The therapist can use this to gain a notion of the client's internal world, revealing significant feelings and relationship patterns overtime. Benefits of Psychodynamic Therapy Self-Awareness:  Committing to psychodynamic therapy can be immensely rewarding, especially from gaining insight into one’s own thoughts and emotions. It can be an unsettling thought to consider that there are parts of the self that we are not aware of, but equally, very meaningful and relieving to then discover some of these parts. Emotional Growth:  Engaging in psychodynamic therapy over time, especially through exploring the roots of behaviour, can lead to healthier relationships and a healthier relationship within the self, especially to our feelings. An overall aim might be to get to a point where all of the emotions, even the less pleasant ones, are permitted and have their place. Long-Term Change:  Psychodynamic therapy does not seek to provide coping mechanisms to live with issues or for symptom relief. Instead, it aims for deep-rooted and meaningful change. Who Can Benefit? In my practice, I work with clients with presenting symptoms/obstacles/ diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, personality disorders, autism, addiction, divorce, relationship issues, identity issues, trauma (PTSD and CPTSD), perimenopause and menopause. There are a wide range of issues that psychodynamic therapy can help with. Psychodynamic therapy can be helpful for those looking for deeper understanding of themselves. What to Expect in a Session I see my clients initially for 1-3 sessions so that I can gain a better picture of what's been going on and to see if therapy with me could be beneficial. This also gives my clients a feel for me as their therapist and the room/online space. This initial period involves me asking more questions. At the end of this initial period, we will discuss how we will work together, for how long and go through any questions. Once therapy begins, the sessions are held on the same day and at the same time each week and last for 50 minutes. The client can use the session to speak about anything that comes to mind. Overtime, a therapeutic relationship is established. The therapeutic relationship is a collaborative one where we work together on a deeper level, focusing more on the client's internal world. Conclusion For various reasons, many people find themselves facing struggles that can feel impossible to overcome alone. When considering psychodynamic therapy as a potential route to overcoming these struggles, it can be useful to learn more about it first, hence why I have written this piece. If you feel that psychodynamic therapy could potentially be suitable for you and would like to learn more about my practice (in-person or remotely), please contact me to organise a call or book an initial consultation. Contact Hannah Downing, MSc, MBACP hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk www.enter-therapy.co.uk

Whether it is a divorce and/or a child-related case, it is not uncommon today to find oneself in the UK family courts. Walking through this unfamiliar territory, on top of the wholly justified emotions involved in separation, divorce and children, those unwanted feelings of anger, fear and sadness are all very common. There is often little readily available to support the mental wellbeing of those going through this process. When it comes to the formal and rigid formalities of the courts and the stress surrounding the communications, there is not a great deal of space to be vulnerable, to be human and to truly express feelings. Holding it together just isn't going to be sustainable for many and for the duration that cases can go on for. With such pressure to "perform" in time-limited hearings, on top of managing the communications and preparing the paperwork, even with the best possible legal support, the road is going to feel bumpy. Narcissism in the Family Courts Going through the family courts and coming up against someone with strong traits of narcissism is not going to be an easy ride. These cases can be very shocking and specific in their nature, often leading to traumatic experiences. There is likely to be the additional pressure of engaging in a system which does not encourage, or at times even acknowledge, labelling the behaviour which is happening or using the terms to explain this behaviour. This stance can leave those going through such a painful process feeling confused, isolated and vulnerable. If you have any questions at all or would like further information on having sessions with me during your family court case, please contact me at hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk

When anxiety levels are high, the body is more tense and its resources are used up more quickly. The body is working extra hard to survive at these times. Eating healthily and exercising are obviously going to help, but when moods are low and anxiety is high, we tend to be doing more running from ourselves. It can feel like an uphill climb to be focusing on caring for ourselves at these times. If this is the case, it can be beneficial to consider easier options which feel more achievable. Taking supplements during moments of stress can help to get you through and don't require expensive shopping, lots of time or cooking skills to achieve. These obviously won't substitute food, but can help to give you a boost of what your body might be needing. For example, high levels of stress and anxiety can use up a lot of magnesium. Low magnesium levels can result in further stress and tiredness. Zinc, calcium and iron are also affected by high stress levels. Taking a good quality multivitamin or specific supplements could be one way of giving your body some of the additional resources it might need during tough times. Some of our simplest and basic needs such as breathing deeply and drinking water can get easily overlooked during stressful times. Breathing can speed up with anxiety, resulting in less oxygen coming into the body. Making a conscious effort to take deep breaths will increase oxygen entering the body and can help to bring anxiety levels down in the moment. Hydrating your body can seem so simple, but when we are tired, we tend to reach for coffee more frequently and a glass of water might seem less appealing. If cofffee is showing up more regularly, think of having a glass of water afterwards. Hydration can also help with tiredness. If exercise seems impossible, perhaps try reframing what exercise is. If picturing going to a gym or for a run seems too much to achieve, dipping into short videos available online might feel more possible. Ok, so it's not doing the weekly class that you might have had in mind, but during tough times, leaving the house to go to a class might not feel achievable. Being easier on yourself and setting more surmountable tasks can help you to feel better. Perhaps a 10 minute video in the living room is all you can do right now and that's better than nothing. There is a wide selection of free videos available, covering many types of exercise and with a variation of durations. A journey in therapy will provide you with a space to explore what's been going on and what's behind your obstacles. Providing yourself with the best possible conditions can support you both on your therapeutic journey and beyond. Written by Hannah Downing. If you would like to contact me, please email hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk or call 01883 779276.

It's a misconception that the reasons leading up to therapy and that attending therapy itself are linked in any way to weaknesses. When we were little ones, in whatever circumstances we were presented with, in many ways, we would have learned to "pull ourselves together". There are many ways that a child can do this. A child eventually becomes tired from acting out, not being seen or heard and not getting what we wanted or at times, needed and eventually the coping mechanisms were built. The coping mechanisms can be seen as a way of coping with the painful emotions (namely sadness, fear, anger and shame) that came up from our early experiences. Much of the time, the way that these coping mechanisms were constructed was based on a combination of what we experienced and saw from our care-givers (often parents) and the circumstances that we grew up in (often called the environment). But let's face it, little ones don't have adult minds and it is perfectly understandable that, whatever the coping mechanisms were in those early years, these are actually unlikely to be satisfactory, relevant or even wholly effective throughout life. The conundrum often comes when the cost of continuing to use these coping mechanisms outweighs the cost of not using them at all. We can feel check-mated, trapped and with a feeling that things just aren't working anymore. The coping mechanisms can end up redundant and we are faced with those same painful emotions that we were trying to avoid in the first place. It is not uncommon to be left feeling very vulnerable and out of control when this happens. This can be a point when someone turns to therapy. Society, especially with its "do now", "do quick" outlook and the pressures that are more prevalent than ever to "look well", is not helpful to the conundrum of the defences not working anymore. Often, we feel that it is a weakness to even admit to ourselves that we are not ok, let alone to others, whether that be friends, partners, families, employers or even therapists. It takes great strength to allow oneself to be vulnerable together with another. It takes great courage to walk on the path together through what is happening and what happened. In many cases, it would actually seem easier to scrape together the same coping mechanisms and push on alone rather than to sit with the pieces and work through it. In this respect, it can be viewed as very brave to make the choice to sort things out than to press on and turn a blind eye. Here's to 2024 being a year of true strength and courage. By Hannah Downing, Psychodynamic Psychotherapist, hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk

When communicating what's going on within ourselves, it can be hard to find the words. This is perfectly understandable because our internal experiences are so intangible. It is very common for clients in therapy to find themselves feeling quite muted, often saying that they can't find their words or that they don't know where to start. How can we find the verbal bridges to help connect the internal and the external worlds? Something that works well in my practice is to visualise what's going on inside and to make good use of metaphors and symbolism within the session. What does it look like? What does it feel like? We are used to communicating symbolically in everyday life - the glass might be half-full, we might at times feel in pieces, the grass might feel greener on the other side and we might even feel as though we are drowning in the workplace. Pushing down feelings could be visualised as pushing an inflatable down into a pool in that it can take a lot of energy and strives to pop up to the surface again. New possibilities can arise from allowing creative visualisation into the session. When feeling a struggle to communicate what's going on inside, it might be worth considering the following questions: Can I liken how I am feeling to something that is already known of and understood? (e.g. it feels as though I am on an island and everyone else is on the mainland or it feels as though I losing a battle) If I could draw or picture how I feel, what would it look like? You can also use visualisation to communicate how you have experienced shifts in your life (e.g. It felt as though my life and all of its contents were slipping away like sand through a sift or it was such an abrupt change that it truly felt as though I tumbled off a cliff) If we can succeed in being as understood as possible by the other, the therapeutic journey hopefully becomes a more fulfilling one. As a therapist, I am comfortable working with visualisation, symbolism and metaphors in the sessions if my client finds this useful. I can stay with these images, help to build upon them and use them in some of my communications in response. Hannah Downing, Psychodynamic Therapist, hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk

When we find ourselves in a position where things just can't continue as they are, we might turn to therapy. The decision has been made and, after trawling through the numerous modalities and profiles, the therapist has been selected. You walk into the room for the first session and, committing to Britain's great knack of putting smalltalk to good use, fill the space with a well-meaning "how are you?" to the therapist. The therapist smiles, but says...nothing. What on earth is going on in this moment?! Why, in every other corner of the country you would expect to get a response, but in this supposedly safe space, you are met with nothing but a smile. This is a very different type of relationship to one that you might be used to. In most of our day-to-day relationships, there is a two-way traffic in communications. You would know details about each other enough to maintain this flow. However, in the therapeutic space, things are different because the space is one that is wholly dedicated to the client. The client needs to make use of the space as their own and by the therapist not responding to questions about him/herself, it is often the best way to encourage the client to do so. In psychodynamic therapy, it is additionally important for the client to know as little as possible about the me. The reason being that I am making myself as blank a canvas to the client as I can so that I can receive unconscious projections from my clients. I am seeking to be affected by these projections in such a way that it assists me to gain an understanding of how my clients relate to others and the world. Essentially, the less known about me, the more my clients are likely to project onto me. After the therapeutic relationship comes to an end, it can often feel strange to have shared so much with someone and then essentially, to walk away. You are then left with your own take on the experience, unaffected and unchangeable by anyone but yourself, unless of course you resumed sessions with that same therapist at a later date. But there is something to be gained from an independent reflection upon the process, without checking in or keeping the connection alive. It essentially becomes yours to take away. Hannah Downing, Psychodynamic Therapist, hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk.

Short-term therapy has a number of benefits which I will try to outline below. I am currently offering short-term therapy with a duration of 8 or 12 weeks remotely via video. While working towards a closer end date can place limits on what can be achieved, it is this looming end date that is often kept in mind and it is not uncommon for important realisations to occur as this ending approaches. Short-term therapy can also be a great way to gain an initial experience of therapy. Perhaps dipping in feels easier and more attainable than taking the plunge. It could be an option for those who feel more cautious about what therapy might uncover. Some might choose to return to therapy at a later date, others might feel that this experience is sufficient. Sometimes, we might just want to get back on our feet. It might not be the right time to go into ourselves more deeply. If short-term therapy can assist someone in feeling better on a day-to-day basis, to get out of bed feeling brighter or for a touch of re-grounding, it has its place. In some cases, it can just be used to get back into a daily routine. I have current openings for short-term evening sessions of either 8 or 12 weeks in duration. Where I am fully booked for these sessions, I will open a waiting list and provide you with a date of when your therapy can start. These evening sessions will take place remotely. I am trained to work both in-person and remotely and successfully provide therapy in both settings. Remote therapy can be particularly useful in the numerous situations where in-person sessions are not possible. You would need a regular quiet spot where you won't be disturbed, some headphones and a computer (smartphones don't work as well). If you are interested in booking a space, please contact me on hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk

Intrusions into the conscious mind, whether from everyday life or the unconscious, can deliver a real sense of danger. It is coming from a system designed to protect us, but can often leave us feeling quite unprotected in everyday life, especially with external pressures that necessitate having to push on. This sense of danger can instil a panicked feeling with racing thoughts. The heart can pound so heavily that we can at times actually hear its thumping rhythm. We might find ourselves struggling to breath. This sense of danger can be debilitating enough that we might even that life is on the edge, utterly helpless and confused as to why we are experiencing such symptoms. The feelings of anxiety can make us feel entrapped in a vicious cycle that can eventually lead us to hide away at the risk of it being seen by the busy external world. Through our five senses, we take in the external world around us. We live on a conscious level. Sometimes, what we experience can trigger old stored material from the unconscious to travel into our awareness. Psychodynamic therapy can help to explore what might be beneath anxiety. Together with your therapist, it aims to gently connect your past experiences and aspects of yourself with your current experiences. Outside of the therapy room, there are some exercises which might provide some symptomatic relief from anxiety. Many of these can be found online and I have also listed some tips below shared with me by colleagues. Your GP will also be able to provide advice. Tips to help reduce anxiety Focusing on this calming activity, which makes use of the touch and sight senses, can help to reduce anxiety in the moment or at least give you a break from symptoms: Face the palms of your hands together and touch each of your finger (+thumb!) tips together, touching just at the ends. Without letting any of your fingertips disconnect, begin to move your hands however they wish to move. You can bend and flex your fingers to allow movement. You can freely adjust and alternate the pressure that you apply, pushing firmly or lightly. It can help to release some anger or frustration to press the tips together firmly for a while. The idea is that you move your hands in anyway that you wish, while always keeping the finger and thumb tips connected. Watch and focus on your hands and fingers moving around in this freestyle way and continue for as long as needed. The following will help you to increase oxygen to your brain. Often, when we are feeling anxious, we take shorter and quicker breaths which doesn't assist in reducing the anxiety. The last thing that we feel able to do when anxious is to breathe deeply, but placing your hands over your eyes can encourage you to focus on your breath and to help you feel more protected: Close your eyes and place one hand over each closed eye. Take 5 slow and deep breaths. Then breathe normally for 5 breaths. With your eyes still closed, move your hands to your forehead and repeat the 5 slow breaths, followed by 5 normal breaths. With your eyes still closed, move your hands to your temples and while gently massaging your temples in small circular motions, repeat the 5 slow breaths, followed by 5 normal breaths. Take your hands away, gently open your eyes. The following can assist in helping you to become aware of the mind-body connection during periods when you are affected by anxiety. Focusing on these parts of your body and learning to relax the muscles can feel calming and help to shift your focus. This is not a full body scan, but more of a brief exercise homing in on certain areas that tend to tense up: Focus on your eyes and forehead and let go of the tension here. If it is challenging to do this, close your eyes tightly and then re-open and release the muscle tension. Draw your attention to your jaw and try to relax this area, including your mouth and cheeks. If it is difficult to do this, focus on tensing the area before releasing the tension. Relax your shoulders and extend this relaxation down your arms, hands and to your fingertips. Take 3 slow and deep breaths. If you are seeking therapy for anxiety and would like to discuss this with me, please feel welcome to contact me at: hannah@enter-therapy.co.uk